ultimate_catmanfandomcom-20200215-history
The Catman War
"A long time ago in a Diggle far far away..." The Catman War is a movie that happens to Catman and his friends on a whirlwind adventure to save the galaxy. Join the heroic Adam West, the feminine princess Marth, the smuggler Diggle Solo, the hairy Joshamee Gibbs, and the rest of the rebellion in a last ditch effort to stop the evil Darth Jared and Jirard's evil weapon, the Etika Star. It's an adventure so out of this world, that you might explode from all the exitement. In fact, other people have tried to rip it off by renaming it "Star Wars" and changing some of the characters. Story The galaxy is in a civil war, and spies for the Rebel Alliance have stolen plans to the Galactic Empire's Etika Star, a heavily armed and armored space station capable of destroying entire planets. Rebel leader Princess Marth is in possession of the plans, but her ship is captured by Imperial forces under the command of the evil Lord Darth Jared. Before she is captured Marth hides the plans in the memory of an astromech droid called D3-UC3, along with a holographic recording. The droid, accompanied by fellow protocol droid Timmy Turner, escape from the captured ship to the desert planet Catooine. The droids are captured by Jawa traders, who sell the pair to moisture farmers Owen and Beru West and their nephew, Adam West. While he cleans D3-UC3 Adam West accidentally triggers the playing of part of Marth's recording, in which she requests help from Peanut Butter Gamer Kenobi. Adam West wonders if she is referring to Ben Kenobi, a hermit who lives nearby; then he retires for the evening. The next morning Adam West finds D3-UC3 searching for Peanut Butter Gamer, and meets Ben, who reveals himself to be Peanut Butter Gamer. Peanut Butter Gamer tells Adam West of his days as a Catdi, who were a faction of former galactic peacekeepers with supernatural powers derived from an energy field called the Force, and who were conquered by the Empire. Contrary to his uncle's assertions, Adam West learns that his father fought alongside Peanut Butter Gamer as a Catdi Knight before he was "betrayed and murdered" by Jared, Peanut Butter Gamer's former pupil who turned to the dark side of the Force. Peanut Butter Gamer then offers Adam West his father's lightsaber. Peanut Butter Gamer views Marth's complete message, in which she begs him to take the Etika Star plans to her home planet of Alderturneast and give them to her father for analysis. Peanut Butter Gamer invites Adam West to accompany him to Alderturneast and become a student of the Force. Adam West initially declines, but, after discovering that Imperial stormtroopers searching for Timmy Turner and D3-UC3 have destroyed his home and killed his aunt and uncle, changes his mind. Peanut Butter Gamer and Adam West visit the Mos Eisley Cantina, and hire smuggler Diggle Solo and his Wookiee first mate Joshamee Gibbs to transport them to Alderturneast on their ship, the Millennium Deuce. Arriving at their destination, they find only debris; Alderturneast has been destroyed by order of the Etika Star's commanding officer, Grand Moff Jirard, as a demonstration of the Etika Star's power. The Deuce is captured by the Etika Star's tractor beam and brought into its hangar bay. While Peanut Butter Gamer attempts to disable the tractor beam, D3-UC3 discovers that Marth is imprisoned aboard. With the help of Diggle and Joshamee Gibbs, Adam West rescues her. After several harrowing escapes, the group makes its way back to the Deuce. Peanut Butter Gamer engages in a lightsaber duel with Darth Jared and is killed. The Deuce escapes the Etika Star, but unknowingly carries a homing device that enables Jirard and Jared to track it to the rebels' hidden base on Yavin 4. The rebels' analysis of the Etika Star plans reveals a vulnerable exhaust port that connects to the station's main reactor; they plan a mission to attack it. Adam West joins the rebel assault squadron, while Diggle collects his payment for the transport and intends to leave despite Adam West's request that he stay and help. In the subsequent battle, the rebels suffer heavy losses after several unsuccessful attack runs, leaving Adam West as one of the few surviving pilots. Jared leads a squad of TIE fighters and prepares to attack Adam West's X-wing ship, but Diggle returns and fires on the Imperials, sending Jared spiraling away. Helped by spiritual advice from Peanut Butter Gamer instructing him to use the Force, Adam West successfully destroys the Etika Star, killing Jirard seconds before he can fire on the rebel base. Marth later awards Adam West and Diggle medals for their heroism. Reviews * "I never wanted it to not stop!" - Jimmy Fallon * "It's a whole new level of excitement! And quite frankly a level we will never want to stoop down to again!" - Oprah Winfrey * "Stop using my face..." - Greg * "A complete masterpiece!" - Some guy who has never seen Star Wars * "I liked the Diggle character." - ''David Ramsey * "''It was pretty good..." - Hobo * "STOP RIPPING ME OFF!" - George Lucas